All Disco Elysium Side Quests Ranked

All Disco Elysium Side Quests Ranked

Disco Elysium is the best role-playing game to come out in recent years for its originality, for being one of the best-written works in the medium, for its depth of philosophically complex themes and ideas, for allowing itself to be humorous in a depressing situation, and for being able to confront you, the player, with your greatest enemy: being contradicted in your morals.

Not an inch of dialogue goes to waste in this game, not even during the side quests. Side quests are not only worth giving a try to that experience bar and improve some of those skills, but serve to understand better how this place works and, if you play your cards right, help your primary goal.

These quests also mark your affections/alliances with the different characters in the game or at least those you decide to get to know more about. Each mission is a world of its own, some could be finished relatively quickly, and others would have ramifications until the end of the game.

In this guide, I’ll have all Disco Elysium side quests ranked from worst to best.

Selection Criteria

No Disco Elysium side quest is bad. There are just not-that-good side quests. Whether it’s a door in the middle of nowhere or an expedition in the middle of a swamp to find a rare insect specimen, every Disco Elysium side quest has been included in this list. However, we do need to define a selection criteria so you don’t start looking for an Antique Belle-Magrave rifle to end my life.

Here are the factors that I considered when making this list:

  • The side quest’s narrative relevance to the overall investigation, overall setting and characters
  • The side quest’s ability to relieve tension via comic relief in a context of corrupt politics, war, racism, gender struggles, unemployment, poverty and drugs.
  • The quest’s level of engagement, either through captivating storytelling or fun gameplay.

Phew! Now that we got that out of the way, it’s time to chug down a bottle of booze, or perhaps some of the stronger stuff, and dive into all Disco Elysium side quests, ranked.

Lightning Round 

#28 Get a Reality Lowdown

  • Location: Martinaise
Joyce Messier
Image from Wiki Fandom

This is technically just a lore-vomit quest. You speak with Joyce and she’ll give you an overview of what is going on.

It’s not bad at all. It’s a pretty good way to catch up to speed. But, unfortunately, there’s not much to do besides listening to Joyce Messier explain what is happening worldwide.

#27 Wash Off the Death Smell

  • Location: Room #1 in the Whirling-in-Rags, Coastal Shack
Harrier Du Bois
Image from Wiki Fandom

In the Wash of the death smell quest, you have to use a bathtub to wash away the unpleasant smell of death. Before you take a bath, you’ll have to do some plumber work and fix the faucet. The quest is over once Harrier emerges from the bathtub as a clean, fresh-smelling man.

This minor side quest becomes available only if you hit the dialogue option “I think I need to wash.” It just shows how much content is optional and could be easily missed.

  • Reward: A room for the night, 70 EXP

#26 Call Your Station’s Lazareth

  • Location: Whirling-in-Rags
Call Your Station's Lazareth
Image from Wiki Fandom

When your good old partner Kim hears that you have this condition that prevents you from remembering who you are, he naturally tells you to call a lazareth. It eventually becomes clear that your lazareth, Nix Gottlieb, is, in fact, a doctor and that, well, he is not the best at his craft. You’ll tell him you are an amnesiac, and he’ll say, “stop drinking booze.”

Hey, at least you get 30 EXP.

#25 Find Your Heraldic Bird

  • Location: Bookstore
Find Your Heraldic Bird
Image from Wiki Fandom

There’s a lot of stuff going on around there, so why not take some time for yourself, Harrier? Talk to middle-aged women, read your horoscope, and do a BuzzFeed quiz to find out which bird you are. In the Doomed Commercial Area, there’s a working-class woman. If you ask her if her cockatoo is missing, she’ll call you a cockatoo. Well, all that’s left is to find out which.

Head to the bookstore, spend some real on a bird book, and just pick one. What’s cool about this easily missable quest is that you can get a copotype point depending on which bird you choose.

#24 Lena’s Pin

  • Location: Inside the Whirling-in-Rags

 

Lena, the Cryptozoologist's Wife
Image from Wiki Fandom

If when you need cash, ask the people for help, but most will turn a blind eye toward you. Not Lena. When you ask for Lena’s help, she gives you a pin that you can sell at the pawn shop… for 3.20 real.

Hear me out, it may not be a considerable amount, but it sure is a gigantic gesture and makes you adore this old lady even more. I do wish we could take her with us to our investigation, and she could add lots of fun to the game’s dialogues.

#23 The Pissing Competition

  • Location: Martinaise
Kim Kutsuragi
Image from Wiki Fandom

You can ask Kim why two different precincts are investigating the case, and he’ll initially say it’s nothing, but if you’re persistent enough, he’ll reveal a cop-off between the two precincts: a pissing match of sorts.

Let me be clear: you will not be engaging in a pissing competition. This right here is a complete disappointment. If that were the case, I could have easily placed this quest in the top ten.

#22 Are You La Puta Madre’s Peone?

  • Location: Feld building, Whirling-in-Rags
Jules Pidieu
Image from Wiki Fandom

So, Ruby thinks you’re a peone from a mafia overlord, a feared criminal – La Puta Madre. You are inclined to say no, but truth be told, you are an amnesiac, so you’ll have to rely on others to tell you. If you ask good boy Kim, he’ll say he doesn’t think you are, but he’s not sure. Later in the game, you can call the station. Jules Pidieu won’t give you an affirmative answer, but it’s more of a no than a yes. That’ll have to settle it for you.

This minor side quest builds on Harrier, Kim, and Jules as characters. It’s crazy to think how this is skippable content.

#21 Find Smokes and Smoke Them, Find Booze and Drink It, Find Pyrholidon and Slurp It and Find Speed and Sniff It

  • Location: Whirling-in-Rags and Capeside Apartments
Find Booze and Drink It
Image from Wiki Fandom

Everything detrimental to your health equals bonuses. Harry will start feeling hungover and want more when he comes down from his high. That means you’ll make an addict out of him. You can find cigarettes and booze at the Frittle Kiosk, but the drugs are a bit more challenging.

These sidequests don’t build up much on the story or characters themselves, but it is an exciting game mechanic.

#20 The *Special* Borscht

  • Location: Whirling-in-Rags
Goracy's Brew
Image from Wiki Fandom

Among Easy Leo’s to-do list, you’ll read something like a “special borscht.” You’ll have to ask the cook about this soup that makes you stronger and happier. I don’t need to be a detective to uncover that that soup is spiked, but the man does give you a free sample if you complete this quest, so it’s worth a try.

#19 Meet Lilienne at Land’s End

  • Location: Land’s End
Lilienne Carter
Image from Wiki Fandom

Lilienne is an independent mother of three and carries a sword. Who doesn’t love a strong woman? In this quest, you can have a cute date with Lilienne; need I say more? Don’t forget to drop Kim at home; you don’t want him third-wheeling around your date.

#18 Spirit Is Eternal

  • Location: Fishing village
  • Reward: Spirit Bomb
Spirit Bomb
Image from Wiki Fandom

Somehow wearing a horrific necktie eventually earns you a Molotov, or “Spirit Bomb,” because you’re an alchemist now. You must approach Rosemary with a horrific necktie, and he’ll want to sell you a Blue Medicinal Spirit. You’ll have to bargain slightly to lower the price from 300 to 3.

You buy it, and when the time is right, you take it to the final trial. Using a Molotov in the end game is fantastic, but this quest drags for too long, so I eventually forgot about it and took my gun instead.

#17 What Is the Race Enigma

  • Location: Industrial Harbor
Measurehead
Image from Wiki Fandom

So, here is the deal: Measurehead is racist. The issue with this racist guy is that he won’t let you pass through the docks. One of the ways to get through is to listen to his racist theory, understand it, internalize it, and agree with him. The problem is Harrier is amnesiac, and also sort of like a baby sponge who soaks up his racist theory and believes it.

Thankfully, you can get the racist ideology off of Harrier’s mind by spending a skill point, but it sure is a painful hour and a half to sit through.

#16 Buy FALN Pants from Cuno

  • Location: Behind the Whirling-in-Rags
  • Reward: FALN “Modular” Track Pants
Buy FALN Pants from Cuno
Image from Wiki Fandom

So, Cuno acquired some FALN pants. He’ll sell them, sure, for the irresistible price of 500 real. Don’t worry; there are ways to bargain with him and get him to lower the price: ask him about his name, pass an empathy check, oh, and get through a “rape” performance. Then, the price will be 15 real, which is much more accessible.

You walk in wanting a pair of FALN pants, but you’ll walk out horrified, with a pair of new clothes and new business deals.

#15 Pay for Damages

  • Location: Whirling-in-Rags
Pay for Damages
Image from Wiki Fandom

When you first interview Garte, the cafe manager at the Whirling-in-Rags, you find out you’re pretty the debtor. He’ll say you owe him 130 for all his services. There are just so many directions in which this tiny side quest can go.

You can negotiate your debt with Garte and reduce it to 30, flee the scene and then reduce it to 60, beg everyone for help, and just lose a morality point, or just hang around until nighttime and Kim will say “hey, I’ve got some Radiant Spinners we can sell at the pawn shop!”

#14 Explore Whirling’s Secret Passages

  • Location: Whirling-in-Rags
Gorący Kubek
Image from Wiki Fadom

If you happen to come across the secret roof next to Klaasje, or the hidden door next to Gorący Kubek in the kitchen, suddenly, you’ll learn of Whirling’s secret passages.

This side quest is just insane. You might encounter one of the secret passages by chance, and suddenly new areas and conversations are available to you. Sure, you have to pass some strict checks to get through most of them, but it’s even more content that anyone could easily miss unless they are poking around every object in the Whirling-in-Rags.

#13 Where Is the Rest of the Armor?

  • Location: Whirling-in-Rags
  • Reward: +70 XP
Fairweather Armour
Image from Wiki Fandom

Manana sends you out to find four pieces of armor, which sounds like fun until you discover that you won’t come across all of them until you finish the game. This is one of the longest quests in the game. You will likely lose track of the quest by the time you can complete it.

#12 Find the Traffic Hooligan

  • Location: Land’s End
Find the Traffic Hooligan
Image from Wiki Fandom

Never in my life had I played a detective game in which the mystery at hand ended with a: “I’m the culprit.” This side quest, in which Harry discovers he is, in fact, the hooligan, was quite the ride. In terms of gameplay, I had to sit by some swings with my buddy Kim and wait for the tide to lower. But despite being still, my mind was going at 100 km/hour. It just goes to show how good the storytelling is in this game.

#11 Find Idiot Doom Spiral’s Jacket

  • Location: Fishing Village
  • Reward: FALN Faln Windbreaker
Find Idiot Doom Spiral's Jacket
Image from Wiki Fandom

A man asks for his jacket, you bring it, he rejects it for being dirty, you clean it, waste 30-in-game minutes, and he STILL rejects it. This quest is infuriating but adds to Idiot Doom Spiral’s character as you begin to see his authentic self. IDS brings out the worst in people and does seem to be a projection of what a Harry could end up being like if his life down spiraled like his.

The Top Ten

#10 Add Even More Beauty to the Wall

  • Location: Martinaise
Add Even More Beauty to the Wall
Image from Wiki Fandom

Near Capeside apartments, you come across a vast, blank wall. So naturally, you must “beautify” it with your artistic skills. This quest requires you to gather a brush, and some paint, then decide what you want to draw on the wall. It’s pretty straightforward and not that long, to be honest, but it provides insight into how you can leave a permanent mark in this city.

#09 Find Your Badge

Find Your Badge
Image from Wiki Fandom

The find your badge quest ties in with the Jam Mystery questline, which is the actual fun part of it. The quest scenario? A seemingly neverending jam of lorries amongst which there is one hiding ingredient for illegal drugs.

You have to prove your detective skills to Joyce Messier, the Pines Company representative, so you do what any detective would do: talk to every. single. lorry driver. Are they fun company? Well, no, some of them are racist, fascist assholes. However, they serve a purpose: flesh out the Disco Elysium world.

#08 Find Your Gun

Find Your Gun
Image from Wiki Fandom

You wake up amnesiac, no badge, no gun. You can report them missing, sure, but that won’t give them back to you. So you have to take matters into your own hands and retake it from… a mentally ill woman with depression?

This side quest hits hard. It takes several conversations and two additional side quests to uncover the truth of where your gun is: a woman named The Pigs has been using it to pretend she’s a police officer. After the whole ordeal, you are pissed and want your stuff back. But then, you come across this sad woman who only took comfort in listening to the police radio.

It just adds a lot to how terrible the situation in Revachol is.

#07 Sing Karaoke

  • Location: Whirling-in-Rags
Whirling-in-Rags
Image from Wiki Fandom

Need I say more? In a grueling setting like the one Dysco Elysium offers, any opportunity to blow off some steam is much welcome. Wait for a second, sad people; before resuming my duties as a detective, I must sing the sad ballad “The Smallest Church in Saint-Saens.”

That’s it. That’s the quest. You sing, nail, or suck at it, and good old Kim praises or comforts you.

#06 Find Morell, the Cryptozoologist

  • Location: Whirling-in-Rags
Find Morell, the Cryptozoologist
Image from Wiki Fandom

Missing husbands! Don’t we love them? On day 1, you can spot Lena from a distance. She’s sitting in a wheelchair beside the Union booth. Approach her on day 2, or the days after that, to learn that she is, in fact, married and her husband went missing. Won’t a kind soul like you lend her a hand?

This search quest has you playing detective and asking the fishing village where this man is. It takes you through a history walk that uncovers many historical facts about Revachol, and, if done right, it could even get you another investigation assistant: Gary, the Cryptofascist.

#05 Find the Insulindian Phasmid

  • Location: Land’s End
Insulindian Phasmid
Image from Wiki Fandom

So, I might be cheating, but this quest is part of the aforementioned four-part series, and I will include it separately just because it’s excellent.

You find the insulindian phasmid, take him to Lena, and she asks you to check his traps and refill them. The traps were made with locusts, which must be put in cages.

This might seem like a fetch quest, and it is. But it unlocks a heartfelt dialogue with Lena that significantly builds her up as a sentimental character. The game’s ending makes this side quest even more important, and this side quest, in turn, enriches the game’s ending like no other.

Interesting read: Comprehensive Guide to Disco Elysium Best Builds.

#04 Split a Kilo with Cuno

  • Location: Capeside Apartments
Capeside Apartments
Image from Wiki Fandom

Oh, Cuno. A sweet young boy who constantly struggles with drugs, alcohol, guilt, and regret. Or an absolute jackass who needs to be put in his place. Depends on which side of the fandom you are on.

It was essential to help Cuno turn his life around, even if that involved punching a child to earn his trust. So this quest in which he asks you to steal drugs from his dad and then split a literal kilo with him? The best thing you can do is to take off your morality suit and do it. This will earn you his trust and let him tag along in the investigation.

This quest is so good that most of us will agree that giving half a kilo to a teenage drug addict is a no-go. But in the context of Disco Elysium, it’s your only choice.

#03 Investigate the Doomed Commercial Area

  • Location: Doomed Commercial Area
  • Reward: Access to Novelty Dicemaker
Doomed Commercial Area
Image from Wiki Fandom

With all the mystery surrounding the tenants of the commercial building, the Slipstream SCA, and the literal witchery Annette and Plaisance keep referring to, you’re bound to want to take a peek at what is going on. Naturally, you’ll want to investigate the commercial area that drives all of its small businesses to bankruptcy.

You’ll probably walk into this quest because you played with some curtains and walk out with a much enriched general plotline and word-building for the entire game. It provides loads of insight into the hardships of living in Revachol.

The reason why I think it is so good is that it’s unexpected. You either expected some mystic stuff to happen or nothing at all. You just ran into a dicemaker living inside a furnace who will solve the mystery by saying: well, the business didn’t work because they were terrible.

#02 Help Ravers Start a Nightclub

  • Location: The Coast
Dolorian Church
Image from Wiki Fandom

Help some punk teenagers set up a nightclub in a Church at the expense of an annoying, strange woman? Count me in. This is the most extended side quest and, honestly, the coolest.

An abandoned church is located right between the fishing village and the boardwalk. Next to the church, there is a tent full of teenagers. They are not out for some pilgrimage; they plan to build a nightclub next door. Not outdoor. In the actual Church.

This might not be the best venue for obvious reasons, but mainly because Soona, a strange woman, is doing some experiments here. I tried to be a total crowd pleaser here: help Soona finish her experiments before letting the kids ravage the place. You could, however, kick her out or cancel the party; but that would either turn you into a rude man or a party pooper… and we don’t do that in the house of god.

#01 The Dead Body on the Boardwalk

  • Location: Martinaise West
Bookstore Location
Image from Wiki Fandom

On Day 2, you can meet an unnamed woman outside the bookstore browsing through some books. You get the feeling that she needs help, and if you are nosy enough to ask about “a missing husband,” she’ll completely deny it.

Taking a walk across the harbor on Day 3 will present one of the best sidequests in the game: the lifeless body of a man, and an optional case for you to pursue, has been made available to you. Funnily enough, he only carries a library ID with him. You could even investigate his apartment to gather some clues, but it all ends there.

You will get your EXP, and you can call it quits right after you walk out of the apartment. But if you’ve got the tiniest bit of decency, you will approach the bookstore lady and deliver the tragic news.

This side quest provides layers upon layers to characters that would be treated as Villager #3 in other RPGs and showcases just how big of a storytelling beast Disco Elysium is.

FAQs

Question: How Long Does It Take To Beat Disco Elysium?

Answer: It depends. Are you trying to uncover all of its content and reach 100% completion? Then you’ll take around 50 hours. If you’re going for the main storyline, which is a shame, it’ll just be around 22 hours.

Question: Are There Multiple Endings on Disco Elysium?

Answer: The game will end in the same way, but with three different Harrys: he could be a good cop, a bad cop, or a nihilist cop. This ultimately shapes your interactions and the dialogue options available to you.

Question: Can You Miss Content on Disco Elysium?

Answer: Yes. Side quests, dialogue, and entire areas can be missed if you’re not careful enough. Make sure you interact with everything and everyone if you don’t want to miss out on some really fun content.

Parting Words

Roaming all over Revachol in pursuit of discovering the truth behind the murder of the gentleman who has appeared hanging behind the Whirling-In-Rags is a more than exciting incentive to push players forward in the story.

Still, this peculiar city is full of people of all kinds, each with their problems and concerns, so the secondary content is more than welcome. Choosing to help or not is up to you, but honestly, there are significant side quests, and they all allow you to get to know all the citizens better, so why would you say no to them? They help you buy time for the primary investigation. Also, the characters and conversations have elevated Disco Elysium to the Olympus of video games, so squeezing every last bit of it is rewarding for you.

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